Monday, October 12, 2009

The Bastard Chicken Clock from Hell

My oft-made gripe is that I didn't have any editing equipment. But what if I had? Today, an experiment! I re-edit one of my movies.

The movie in question is The Bastard Chicken Clock from Hell. I had this clock. It was plastic, shaped like a chicken, and played an annoying song as its alarm. My friends disliked it. That's not strong enough. They loathed it. They plotted its demise. Yet despite tumbles down stairs and kicks across floors, it was The Thing That Would Not Die.

Thus this movie about an evil clock who drives its owner to do something awful to get that terrible song out of his head. You know how directors supposedly have "visions"? Well, this was my first one. I envisioned a (mostly) silent, black-and-white film with a few lingering dissolves. But those were three things I could not do. Until now. Take that, life!

Above you can watch my re-edit. I didn't allow myself to tamper too much - I didn't change the order of shots or do anything else that might dramatically improve the movie. But it's still kind of nice, after all these years, to see the damn thing finally finished.

(Footnote: The chicken clock survived many more assassination attempts in college, one of which knocked the clock hands from the face, rendering it useless. But still it sang its song. It was years later when, mysteriously, it passed away silently in the night. Sometimes I awaken and think I hear it calling to me from beneath the bed. Maybe it didn't die? I am too afraid to look.)

The original version is below.



At October 13, 2009 at 4:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the most interesting of all the films, the Dan Kraus version of Apocalypes Now Redux. Because it shows the evolution of an idea, when (post-prod) technology catches up to the original vision. Even keeeping the order of the shots, it has a totally different look and feel due to the tigher editing and the black and white. But I can't forgive you for planting that "wooowwww....hey baby wakeup" loop in my head forever. The Horror, the horror.

At November 6, 2009 at 10:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still loathe this clock. I'm angry just thinking about it again.

At November 6, 2009 at 10:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been looking forward to this one!

At November 6, 2009 at 10:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man, do I hate this clock! You have no idea how annoying the editing of this video was. Well, I guess you do. Still.

At January 6, 2010 at 10:26 PM , Blogger PastorHawk said...

Of all the crap-tastic Danman productions, this one always stuck with me through the years as the one positive bright spot. Keep in mind, I was in a couple of his later, more polished turds...ahh, I mean works. Even I have to admit Mike Jackson's performance in this stands above all the rest. Watching it today on YouTube is every bit as good as I remember. Way to go, Dan!
-Craig Brown, Professional Broadcaster '98-'05

At January 7, 2010 at 5:36 AM , Blogger DK said...

PastorHawk: Re-editing this stuff does wonders. Wait until you see what I've done with your movie, The Godfathers Part II. Coming soon...


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